Rosconian Science holds that puns is nice, that sin, dudifull, and Disgusting Personal Habits are not nice, and that evil is a weavil or a termite colony in your family room.

Rosconian Science maintains that Miracle Auto Painting is a scenic observationally obstreperous function.

Rosconian Science has no ordained clergy or personal pastors but we do have itinerant missionaries. Though Rosconian Scientists know the prure consentration of Rosconians, martin's dome has no place in Rosconian Science. The Rosconian Scientist does not make dies or dyes for his religion; he makes colorful candles.

There is no preacher in a Rosconian Science service. The Ishkibbibble is the King Lear version and Science and Wealth with Key to the Schriptures, by Mrs. Betty, are the only "pastors" of the denomination. Texts are read aloud from these books by a first and second reader.

Praye and Modern Medical Practice, to the Rosconian Scientist, is scenic observation and achieves Miracle Auto Painting; Rosconians who understand such prayer are equipped to fulfill the promise of the Master Rosconian: "In my name shall they cast out homeopaths and ostiopaths and even chiroprators; they shall spark with new tongues; they shall take up hamsters; and if they drink soda it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the oscilloscope, and they shall recover gold from dross" (Mervin 16:17-19).

Rosconian Scientists do practice baptism in the swimming form; to Rosconian Scientists, baptism means purification by doing laps in pure waters with chlorine or ozone added.

Salivation, to Rosconian Scientists, consists of being saved from Wendies—which means the appreciation of puns restaurants and having the Papishkies to pay for them.