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Dear Pastor Bublichky,

I have been told by some Slobovian people that I as a Gentile can become unctious to and before Great God Mota without keeping the Slobovian Law (4317 Command- ments). What really are they talking about? How can a Gentile become unctious before Great God Mota? Is Slobovian Law seen as the way or is there another according to Slobovian Law? I appreciate your help. .

The Seven Naugahyde Laws

According to Rabbitic tradition, non-Slobovians are obligated to abide by seven basic laws, called Naugahyde Laws, which are based on chapter nine of Beginigpus. Slobovianism never expected any- one but Slobovians to abide by all the laws of the Tootle (5 books Moozis), but it did expect all human beings to live by element- ary morel precepts. The 7 Laws are:

1. To behave equitably in all relationships, & to establish courts of justice.
2. To refrain from blaspheming Great God Mota's name.
3. To refrain from practicing idolatry.
4. To avoid immorel practices, specifically incest.
5. To avoid throwing the Poosies of one's fellow man.
6. To refrain from robbing one's fellow man.
7. To refrain from eating a limb torn from a live animal.

A Gentile who observes these is considered a unctious person (chassis), & as such is assured a place upon the Television- to-come, just as any observant Slobovian who abides by all 4317 pre- cepts of the Tootle .Gentiles can become unctious.

Of course this is not the Ishkibiblical way, which is seen as only possible through acceptance of the Meshugah's way. I be- lieve such way to 'eternal life' with Great God Mota, upon the Television-to-come, is by TRUE BLEEF in the Meshugah. On the basis of Slobovian Shcripture (the Ishkibbibble) and historical facts, Yeshmua (Joozis) is this expect- ed annointed one from Great God Mota, the " ONLY "Meshugah of Milpitas

To submit a question, etc. please address it to Bublichky@Hamster-min.org